Sheer boredom.

Metric -Poster of a Girl

Can't stand by myself
Hate to sleep alone
Surprises always help
So I take somebody home
To find out how I feel
Feel like just a baby
Portrait of a lady
Poster of a girl
Satisfy myself
Avoid beginners
Who long to shut my mouth
Till I take one of them home
'Cause I know how it feels
Filling in the blanks
Looking on the bright side
When there is no bright side
Coming in your pants
For the off chance
With a poster of a girl

(Emphasis mine, haha)

Brilliant song, great lyrics.
Enjoy!

Languidly watching smoke curl is the addiction.

The time is 4:29am and i'm still awake, goddamn it. I have a compy in like 7 hours time and i still can't fall asleep. I'm not even sleepy. I'm a true blue insomniac. Everytime the holidays come around, my sleep patterns automatically reverse, and i start sleeping at ungodly hours. Like 5 am. And waking up at 5pm(!). What kind of normal human has this kind of sleep pattern? I have no life!

Feeling rather uninspired of late. Lazy to train, lazy to do anything much as a matter of fact. All i want to do is FAG. It hasn't been easy, i tell you. I was so tempted to go get a pack of Dunhill. I can almost taste the smoke as i type. This isn't helping a single bit, if i'm gonna want to quit. But i read somewhere that 90% of smokers start smoking again after they quit. As in, they're unsuccessful at quitting.

OH MY GOD, PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO QUIT FAGGING. AMEN.

Now please be reminded that i'm not exactly a pious man. The above line is strictly for comic value although i'm starting to think that it does not possess any. :)

HAVE A BLEEDING NICE DAY, FAGS.

Damn the fags.

You Are Creepy

Serial killers would run away from you in a flash.

How Scary Are You?

Just because i'm creepy, doesn't mean i'm fierce. I think the truly scary people are the ones that pent every emotion they have up, and let it out all at once. Like those people that go on shooting sprees and end up killing themselves. I would love to know what goes on in the mind of these.... special people.

Today has been a rather boring day. Woke up at around 4.30 to a rumbling tummy. Almost ate some bread, until i remembered that i'm fasting. Pretty much feel like crap now. Training was damn tiring, even more so with a rather sore throat and the lack of fags. Haven't been fagging for 3 days, and the body isn't really handling it well. I shall persevere though.

I think donuts/doughnuts (?) are damn over rated. Why are people raving over donuts when they really aren't that good. Donuts are the new bubbletea. A fad, that's gonna fizzle out in no time.

Mummy, it's back.

For some reason unknown to even myself, the goddamn blogging bug is back. This is not good. Now i'll start wasting my time blogging when i can be doing other much more productive things, such as downloading shit off limewire. ( no, i don't really do that ;) )



Now, i'm feeling rather depressed. Seems like the damn coach is not happy with me. So much so that he's gonna stop training me if i don't quit smoking and improve my stamina. Damn it to hell man. Thank god (?) the fasting month is around the corner. This means i have a reason NOT to smoke. Wah, but seriously man, i'm kinda scared.What if he really decides to stop training me? What next? Quit fencing? Sounds good to me . Then i can do much more productive things, ie. smoke, drink and club! Brilliant.



WOW WEEEEE I LOVE MY COACH TO BITS. Literally. Grrrr stupid romanian.







On a much lighter note, the new iPod is out. Ladies and germs, i give you, drumroll please, THE iPOD TOUCH.





1, 2, 3... ORGASM!

Ahhhhhhh, visual orgasms are the best. I think i feel one more coming. HAHA did you get the pun?

I want one of these beauties. Birthday is on 2nd november. Thank you.

Zilch

Well it has been awhile since i last blog. Can't seem to find the inspiration OR time. Holidays have come and almost gone. Just a few days left before hell resumes. I mean school. PBL sucks balls. Should have gone to NP when they offerd me BioMed. Damn it to hell, though i shouldn't cry over spilt milk. Anihoo, the new class roster is out. At first glance, looks like there a lots of girls. I hope hot ones!

One thing worth noting (okay, maybe not), is how my malay has deproved significantly, although it never really was top notch. I can't even order a Mee Goreng without stuttering like a fool.

'Uh cik, uh.. satu.. satu mee goreng.. uh.. satu mee goreng seafood'. 'Takeaway eh cik'.

Great job harshan. *proceeds to fuck own's ass*

Entry No. 19 - The complexity one never sees.

Well it has been a long while indeed since i last posted. I can't say i've been too busy, just too lazy. I spend all my hours after school lepak-ing. Now how cool is that?



Well, the last post was about this book i got, OUT. In a nutshell, it wasn't really as exciting as i thought it would have been but still an OK read. Reading it got me thinking of the lengths people would go to just to conceal something. Hide their dirty laundry, you could say. Funny, the things people would do to save their skin. What is even more interesting is WHY people go to such lengths to hide something. What compels them to do the morbid things they do. Why chop someone up? Exactly what is going on in their screwed-up little heads? Do they see things differently? Intrepret the most innocuous of things as a death threat?



I'M BORED.

Entry No.18 - Return of the geek.

GEEKY POST AHEAD.

So went out today to catch Spiderman 3. I saw this book i read a review of. OUT, by Natsuo Kirino. It's a thriller. Looked damn good. Hesitated for a while but decided to get it. Hope it turns out to be a good read.

Natsuo KIrino.

OUT.

Entry No.17 - RACHAEL YAMAGATA!

Rachael Yamagata.

Rachael Yamagata is damn hot. A good musician, not bad on the eyes either. DAMN HOT. I can't seem to emphasise that point enough.

I think it's been more than long enough since i last blogged. Cobwebs are popping up all over the place. Lame, i know, but blogging has never been my strong suit.

What is the reverse of chronological order?

Cos that's how i'm updating today. Let's see. Alright didn't go to school today. Wasn't feeling that well. Last night i went for training at tanglin. Last saturday was training. Got my new blade. My heart aches every time i think about the $220 for a strip of metal. Later that day, went to town with rizza. Met his AC friends. Pretty wacky bunch. Didn't really expect ACSI people to turn out like that. Headed to Fareast for a late lunch/early dinner. Faliq joined us then. Headed to clark quay. Wanted to go to ivory for shisha but they wou;dn't let us in without IDs. We headed to boat quay instead. We settled for Sahara eventually. Had two pots of shisha, couple of beers and a Jack Daniels mixer. Headed back to town to slack then we went back to WenYangs place for the night. The guys had a few rounds of texas poker while i went to sleep. woke up, ordered macs and left for home.

I honestly can't remember what happened before this. Except for Orientation and the first week of school.

Have i mentioned that school sucks?

Entry No. 16 - Fade.

superimpose the fake fake onto the real
i'm trying to read what exactly you feel
everyday i wear a mask
tell me till when will this last?

a new life begins, forget the past
all you do is talk, you never act
you look, you stare
but do you dare?

An enigmatic note in an otherwise beautiful beginning.

Entry No. 15 - The life of someone with no life. :)

I have no idea what to blog about today. So, i will just ramble on about what i did today.

Woke up at 1. Had to reach school by 2 to pass my cca records to form-teacher. What a waste of time. Couldn't find her. Wasted half an hour looking for her. That done, i headed to the canteen to eat canteen food. Oh how i've missed that. Then i went to Jurong Point to look for my new iPod case. Unfortunately they didn't have the one i fancied. Wanted to go home but decided to head to Vivo to look for books.

Long story short, i took 30, got to vivo, spent about an hour and a half in PageOne, bought Carls Jr. and went home. Haha damn interesting right. Thus concludes a day on a life of a recluse. Haha how wrongly that word is used. Anyone wanno join me next time? Call me to make reservations. HAHAHA.

OK lame i know. Sian ah tmr still need to go out. Damn tired...but i want to talk to XXX. Not online yet eh... Sian i sleep first lah. Dun think XXX wants to talk to me too. :(

HAHAHA.

GOOD NIGHT! :))

Entry No. 15 - Absolute boredom.

I think tomorrow, after i settle something, i'm going to roam around singapore. Alone. HAHA sounds fun.

Ok, not frustrated already. :)

Who am i kidding?

Fuck the titles.

I am feeling damn frustrated right now. Fuck lah.

Entry No. 14 - No need title lah.

I have given up staring at my phone, hoping it vibrates.
I have also given up checking my phone every 5 minutes.

Okay, since i was super bored today, and had nothing much to do, besides rotting at home, i decided to go for training at the sportshall. I knew it was a bad idea as soon as i got there. There werw only 3 other people present. Daniel foo, Daryl LSLS and Zihua. What a waste of time. So played soccer for around 45 minutes then Samson and Yvonne came. So we fenced and blah, blah, blah.

After that i went home and my estate's back gate, i saw this damn chio japanese girl. Turns out we stay at the same block. And she smiled at me in the lift! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

What a retarded way to end a post.

Entry No. 13 - Giddy.

I got hit by an epiphany. In the toilet.
The wonders of going to the toilet.
I hate blogger. It chooses not remember me.
I cannot sleep again.
I've gotten to be pretty good friends with insomnia.

' You left your smell, you left your taste
You left me here with my mistakes'

This particular phrase rings true till now.

Entry No. 12 - Attempting to satisfy an empty inside.

I was walking home just now and for some reason unknown, even to myself i, decided to look up to the heavens. The sight that greeted me sent shivers running up my spine. It was nothing much, just the moon, and the clouds slowly wafting over it and hiding it from sight. It was beautiful. The first thought that ran through my mind was to find someone to share that moment with. Alas, that is a little impossible now.

I was supposed to blog about a particular individual, a long time ago. I never got myself down to it and now i don't have a chance to. Damn.

Life goes on. If you want it to.

Entry No. 11 - Say cheese.

My facials muscles aren't built to smile. Believe it or not i find smiling a chore. The fact that i do not smile doesn't mean that i am being dao. I just dislike smiling too much. :)

Entry No. 10b - Self-explanatory.

Your Birthdate: November 2

You're so intuitive, it's like you have a sixth, seventh, and eighth sense. You connect with others freely and easily - and you tend to have many best friends. Warm and caring, it's hard for you to close your heart to anyone. Affection is like air for you - you need to give and receive it to survive. Your strength: Your universal compassion Your weakness: Your unpredictable mood swings Your power color: Mauve Your power symbol: Butterfly Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

OH MY GOD. MY POWER SYMBOL IS A BUTTERFLY. NICE ONE AH. The rest is pretty much true actually.

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Genius Belly Dancer. Where You Lived: West Africa. How You Died: Consumption.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

A genius belly dancer from west africa? TREMENDOUS LAH.

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Mute Executor of Sacrifices. Where You Lived: Russia. How You Died: Natural causes.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

For this one i typed in 'i fucked your mother'.This orives that this type of thing is damn randon and highly illogical. But hey, still fun to do. :)

Entry No. 10 - Eyeballs that jump in their sockets.

I think that due to the unearthly hours i keep, i am starting to have seriously disturbing dreams, on top of dreaming about 'it'. Dreams about 'it' are usually fine and dandy, the only downside being the emptiness i feel when i wake up. Now, these disturbing dreams are....well they are disturbing.

First up, i dreamt that i was on a train heading to god knows where. A typical MRT train. Soon after i board, the people around me, one by one, start dying. I had no clue. I just thought those people were tired and thus they dozed of. There was this hot babe next to me and she happened to be one of the commuters that 'dozed' off. So i kinda propped her head up against my shoulder. I didn't want her neck to ache you see. There so happens to be a TV in the cabin and a news alert flashes on. Seems that a new disease is on the loose and that it's transmitted through saliva. I then realise that the bloody babe was drooling onto my shoulder. I then panicked and decided to alight. Turns out i'm at clementi and i'm late for training. I decide to get rid of my saliva-soaked shirt and decide to cab down to school. I was thinking along the lines of 'so what if i die at least i get to see 'it' '. Turns out i die before i reach school. Wonder what this means. Care to suggest? I doubt there are any readers anyway. It's ok i'll just blog for my own personal gratification.

Second one was people around me started turning into dog-like creatures. Human torsos but dog heads. What does this mean?

Next, i dreamt i was i a room with 8 walls. It was a perfect octagon and i was sitting right in the middle, on a rotating chair. The room was clinical, white walls and linoleum floors, like a hospital.
What does this mean?

Next one isn't that disturbing. I dreamt that i could lunge very smoothly and over a great distance. What does this mean.

What does it mean if you dream about someone/something almost every night?

Oh and i didn't dream all of these over the course of a night. These are dreams over a couple of days.

Okay, time to end this entry.

Time to sleep.

R.E.M sleep beckons.

Entry No. 9 - Blank.

Life lately has not been very good. My mind's in turmoil. So many thoughts, such little space. Which explains why i'm here. I wonder why feelings i used to experience, and detested, are coming back. Must have been what 'it' over the phone. Whether the truth or the oppsite, it had it's desired effect, i am guessing. My guard has been lowered and the damage has been done. I will definitely be feeling the repercussions soon. Indeed it happened a few hours before this entry was produced. I somehow procured knowledge from none other than 'it'. I'm not going to reveal this bit of information but know that it caused a certain feeling, a certain twang from my heart, that i rarely feel nowadays. My entry may not make much sense to you, but hey. it's my blog. :)

Why do these feelings have to return at this juncture. It makes me lose my concentration. I think about 'it' every single of my waking hours and when i'm not awake, i dream about 'it'. Terrific lah, just terrific. At the moment i have no one to talk to about what i'm feeling which is precisely why i'm blogging. Tommorrow however, in fact in a few hours time, i will be meeting up with a couple of buddies to shoot some pool and most probably we will be meeting up with another good friend of ours, (name withheld).


You have no idea how i feel.
An integral part of my life missing.
Don't bother your self with any of this.
Seriously.

Entry No. 8 - Meet your meat.

So i was surfing the net at 4 am in the morning yesterday and look what i stumbled across.

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=meet_your_meat&Player=wm&speed=_med

Do not watch if you have a weak sromach. More about this later.

I don't know what to blog about already. So i'll go to sleep.

Night.

Entry No. 7 - Waxing lyrical gets boring.

Life has been boring. Cooped up at home with nothing to entertain me except for anime and food. I would kill for life to revert to normal. Back when things were still good. When i didn't feel alone. Speaking of food, i have been eating like mad recently and i find it hilarious that people have said that i have slimmed down. My mum, auntie, grandmama and even Zhao. He was telling me that i'm too thin and need to put on some weight.

I am a slave to the details. I stare and scrutinise. Incognito ie. without being obvious. Every single detail is taken in. No, devoured seems more appropriate. Processed and analysed, cross - referenced with stock footage ie. my memories. Ah indeed they were good ones. Alas things had to change. These little things evoke this certain familiar feeling, yet at the same time a deep yearning. Knowing that i may never get the object of my desire ever again. When 'it' is literally within my grasp. Metaphorically though, 'it' is more or less a million miles away. Waxing lyrical does get boring you know. Unfortunately though, this does seem the best way to get my message across. The most effective tool. Language. Ah the beauty of it.

You look good now. Love your hair. Always have.
You know who you are. Maybe you don't. Tragic.
:), you're still always on my mind.

Entry No. 6 - Gotta catch 'em all.

So i went out today to play pool with faliq. Turned out to be a talk about girls and how to handle them. The main focus was losing them. Hmm indeed they are problematic, but once you get used to them, they seem to be a part of life. Losing them comes as a shock to the system. A feeling of despair seems to surround you. After a little while, a new feeling comes to surface. As though a burden has been lifted off your back. Freedom. Ahh this feeling is good my friends. Ecstasy i tell you. Especially if it was a troubled partnership. So go ahead, shed those tears. They aid in the process of grieving. HAHA i'm not making much sense am i? Okay, side track abit.. I just realised the way i've been typing is quite monotonous. No much paragraphing and such. Aiyah can't be bothered. Okay, so back to pool. Yes, i beat faliq 4 games to 3. HAHA played better than before.

Come Edwin I challenge you! Wah like pokemon.

Somehow i still feel empty.

Entry No. 5b - After - Aftermath.

I'm tired of everything.. My fingers burn with this itch to type. Release whatever i have in me. But if i do so, even the innocent may inadvertently suffer from my verbal flatulence. Yes flatulence. Irritating, not required and at times smelly. Damn you, sulpher! But it feels good when it gets out, doesn't it? Admit it lah, most of you have most probably farted (for the uninformed, flatulence = farting) in a room full of people, pretend you didn't do it and stare accusingly at an innocent individual. Back on topic, i'm tired. I want to live life as an omniscient being, floating in this dream-like state, all of life's worries and hassles not bothering me. Floating along like a speck of dust in a force-ten gale. Oblivious. Lulled by the ferocious winds. But NO! What am i doing right now? Pecking away, much like a chicken, at this slab plastic. Knowing it's all over has awoken this feeling in me. A feeling of renewed hope and a new and hopefully better life. I wonder how many times i have said i wan to live life like an omniscient being blah blah blah... Plenty in fact.. Maybe cos i really wan to live like that. Ok i am starting to type like a lazy man. Time to sleep. I will go on about life and blah blah next time. Till then.


Oh i will leave you with my favourite word nowadays : MOFO.

Entry No. 5a - Walls. Not the ice cream you buffoon.

Gazing through the looking glass
Stumbling upon the past
Crouched over the body
Of what once was

Upturned nose, the cute
Downcast eyes, the brute
Ringing laughter
Boundless mirth

Innocent eyes
Oh how they lull
You have been deceived
Yet again, once again

Misreading my loyalty
Paranoia scratches your back
Ah ah fickle foe is he not?
I hope you rot

Ah in fact i do not
But that friend in a dream
Save It the agony
I plead

Drifiting out of reach
You build walls
For me to climb
I do not, i have not
I will not, succeed.

Entry No. 4 - The Autumn Effect

Casting a cool breeze

Supplied by the Autumn

Question where it went wrong

Climbing Jacob's ladder

Climbing Jacob's ladder

Kindly could you re-evaluate

Autumn's animated growth

Autumn indicates the death of beauty as we know

Autumn indicates the death of beauty as we know

Keep on fighting one died from burning at his throat

Autumn swiftly stole the breath of body, mind and soul

Try and come to willingly embrace

Karma's kiss of withering decay

Death feeds, Hell breeds

Subside in the Autumn

Autumn indicates the death of beauty as we know

Autumn indicates the death of beauty as we know

Keep on fighting one died from burning at his throat

Autumn swiftly stole the breath of body, mind and-

Silent beauty

No one cares

Silent ending

No one is there

Entry No.3 - Where did 2 go?

Today was tiring. Slept at 7 in the morning and woke up at 11. Thought i would be late and would miss it. So i showered, changed and rushed to school. Got there and found out it had not happened. So i really hoped it would. Aiyah, at school just slack. Took a short lesson with wong. Then went opposite to eat. Then went back to school and slept till ard 3.20 then packed up and went to sportshall to train.

Training was fun and manageable. After training i went to eat with the PRCS people. Felt damn out of place lah, one whole group of PRCS people and only one Tss guy. Hiya sian ah. Got home ard 8.30 and slept till 10.30. Got up to use the com. So here i am. Still waiting for it.

Entry No. 1a - Interesting.

You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof). Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe. agnosticism 92% Satanism 79% Islam 75% Paganism 67% Buddhism 58% Judaism 54% Hinduism 33% Christianity 29% atheism 29% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

Entry No.1 - Introduction

I have deleted my previous blog. Ok so i haven't. It now has an alias and will serve a diffrent purpose. I will reveal it to one person when the time is right. This is a special person, at least to me. I wonder.

This will serve as my electronic writing pad in which i shall record my muses and occasionally will lament about my life.

Goodnight. Or should i say good morning?